“Letting go is not losing place, it is trusting the ground beneath their feet.”
Di dalam lounge yang hangat saya mulai bercerita tentang Nigel, Chloe dan Sophie serta bagaimana mereka bergantian mengikuti martial art class dan bagaimana tiap discipline perlahan membentuk character mereka.
“Kickboxing makes them bold, judo teaches balance and Brazilian jiu jitsu teaches patience and strategy” Ujar saya lalu berhenti sejenak saat menyadari bahwa semua kelas itu bukan hanya tentang mereka.
“Watching them grow like that makes me reflect on myself too. In their daily life, I am their home. I know that but I am also learning not to hold the steering wheel too tightly.”
Ia tersenyum lalu mengaduk coffeenya perlahan. “Being home does not mean being in control” katanya tenang. “Sometimes we confuse love with direction.”
Saya terdiam sejenak lalu mengangguk pelan. “I used to think that if I was not the center of their lives, I would fall apart.” Ia menatap saya lembut. “Maybe we are the center in their hearts but not in the direction they choose to walk.”
“I am still learning to accept that” ujar saya pelan dengan napas terasa sedikit berat. “I can walk beside them and guide when needed and slowly teach myself to step back when it is time.”
Denting cangkir dan dengung coffee machine terdengar lembut di antara jeda percakapan kami, seolah menyetujui bahwa menjadi rumah bagi anak-anak tidak selalu berarti mengatur arah. Cukup menjadi tempat mereka kembali.
“A mother can be the anchor without deciding the wind.”
Part 17.
